Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Doubt
"In the pursuit of wrongdoing, one steps away from God"
I don't know why but I've been looking at quotes from the movie Doubt (2008 film) recently. It's a wonderful, thought-provoking film that is centred on what Doubt is all about, and that the "nature of doubt, like faith, it can be a unifying force." It is set in set in 1964 at a Catholic church in the Bronx, New York and you know how I'm a sucker for films that have references to the Catholic Church, being a Catholic myself. There is just so much to observe and discuss about, and wonder if there is one should have any doubt when it comes to religion. Also, it stars Meryl Streep so you know that this is going to be one powerful movie.
I should really find the show and watch it again, but for now, I leave you with one of the sermons that Father Flynn (Philip Seymour Hoffman) gives during the movie:
A woman was gossiping with her friend about a man whom they hardly knew - I know none of you have ever done this. That night, she had a dream: a great hand appeared over her and pointed down on her. She was immediately seized with an overwhelming sense of guilt. The next day she went to confession. She got the old parish priest, Father O' Rourke, and she told him the whole thing. 'Is gossiping a sin?' she asked the old man. 'Was that God All Mighty's hand pointing down at me? Should I ask for your absolution? Father, have I done something wrong?' 'Yes,' Father O' Rourke answered her. 'Yes, you ignorant, badly-brought-up female. You have blamed false witness on your neighbor. You played fast and loose with his reputation, and you should be heartily ashamed.' So, the woman said she was sorry, and asked for forgiveness. 'Not so fast,' says O' Rourke. 'I want you to go home, take a pillow upon your roof, cut it open with a knife, and return here to me.' So, the woman went home: took a pillow off her bed, a knife from the drawer, went up the fire escape to her roof, and stabbed the pillow. Then she went back to the old parish priest as instructed. 'Did you gut the pillow with a knife?' he says. 'Yes, Father.' 'And what were the results?' 'Feathers,' she said. 'Feathers?' he repeated. 'Feathers; everywhere, Father.' 'Now I want you to go back and gather up every last feather that flew out onto the wind,' 'Well,' she said, 'it can't be done. I don't know where they went. The wind took them all over.' 'And that,' said Father O' Rourke, 'is gossip!'
_____________________
Hail Mary.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Saved by the bell?
Today something happened that made me smile inside my heart.
The bell signalling the end of my lesson went off and one student exclaimed,
"Wah, so fast end lesson already?!"
That's good...?
I must be doing something right, right?
Whatever it is, I felt that at least the class kids are are willing to put effort in their studies, and hopefully I influence them to give it their all for this subject.
I know I will.
_____________________
Hail Mary.
Friday, March 16, 2012
KOREF 2012
That's Kahang Organic Rice Eco Farm for the uninitiated.
Been 5 years since I last revisited that place. Went there once for Sec 3 camp in '06 and in '07 again as a Senior Leader. Good times, good times.
It's always nice to re-connect with old friends, whilst making new ones. Hanging out with the guys again made me feel like a "boy" all over again. You know, those times when we could shrug off responsibilities way more easily than now.
As we stood there, arms clasped around each other, encircling the campfire to prevent the kids from inching too close, we sang the VS anthem out loud, putting our heart and voices into it. Waves of nostalgia.
Think there's just too much to talk about over the course of those 3 days, but the camp was definitely one that's unforgettable, just like the previous 2. I think I wanna go camping more often now. It's a great escape from the stress that's on my mind nowadays.
_____________________
Hail Mary.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Make You Feel My Love
I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends
Of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love, To make you feel my love
I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends
Of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love, To make you feel my love
Can't wait for this week to be over. For 2 reasons actually, one being my driving practical test on Friday, and a 21st birthday party on Friday night! Hopefully I go to the party smiling and not frowning. God save me. Praying very, very hard that all goes well on Friday.
Things have been going smoothly at work so far. Though I think I could put in more effort in preparing materials/teaching methods for the kids. I feel inadequate. I really don't want to screw up their understanding of a subject because I'm messing with their minds somehow.
Sigh. Put your nose to the grind, Nicolas!
Wow, 4 years have passed and it's another leap year already.
_____________________
Hail Mary.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Death & Company
Attended a funeral wake yesterday. It was my grandaunt's. My first wake I've attended in 5 years. Never liked them. Who does?
One thing's different for sure. I've grown up. I've matured. I've learnt to face death strongly. I didn't shed a tear this time.
I didn't want to go for this wake initially, but something tugged at my heart. My grandaunt, I hardly knew her, we were from different branches of the family tree. This year, when we visited her house during Chinese New Year, she took my hand and held it tight. I was taken aback by the gesture initially. It felt weird. But there she was, holding my hand in hers and stroking my hand gently while speaking fondly of me, as though we had known each other for a long time --- a grandchild in her eyes perhaps. And in less than a month, she was gone. Heart failure. But she knew, she knew that she couldn't last through the week.
Does one know when his/her time is up?
A life lived fully, fulfilled. Last night at the wake, there were tears, but there was laughter as well. As people spoke fondly of her, old photographs were passed around and I had a glimpse of her past and my family's past. It was beautiful in its nostalgic glory. Maybe that's what she wanted, and many others too, that in one's death, one helps to bring the family closer.
She's passed on. Today she will be sent off. Rest in peace, grandaunt. I will miss you, your beautiful smile, your chuckle and your hospitality during Chinese New Year. Though I only see you once a year, you have touched me and I'm sure many others in the years you have lived on this planet.
Rest in peace.
_____________________
Hail Mary.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Time Machine
I’m going to embark on a time machine
If I would be able to go meet you again
I wouldn’t ask for more
Before it becomes a distant fleeting memory
I need a time machine
Teaching has been an interesting experience. It really isn't easy keep the class in check and making sure they're paying attention. I'm glad though, that the students actually bother paying attention to what I say and not drift off into their dream lands.
I think most of the time we take our teachers for granted. From a teacher's point of view right now, there is an immense amount of effort and time put in just to conduct 1 period of a lesson.
I worry that what I'm trying to teach them is not getting through. Personally, I'm still learning and trying my best in the subject. Not only do I have to get my facts right, I also want the students to understand the points that I'm trying to put through to them.
For the past few lessons, I walk out of the classroom thinking... crap I could have done better! Maybe the flow of the lesson should have been as such, etc.
Ahh, worries worries. Hopefully I get my act together and make sure every lesson is engaging as possible.
_____________________
Hail Mary.
Monday, February 06, 2012
Where I fall is where I land
You're entering the next chapter of your life, sadly its the final chapter, but it's also the longest.
If you play it right, it's also the best.
"I pretend to be a different person. I did it because it's not me, I did it because I'm not sure who I am."
You expect people to be better than who they are, and you expect yourself to be better than everybody else.
_____________________
Hail Mary.
