_____________________
'Cuz it's February 29
The following made this day special for me:
1. Chemistry Lecture
Lecturer: “So girls, if you want to know if your boyfriend buys you a real diamond ring in the future, place your diamond ring in the microwave oven and set it to the highest temperature. If your ring melts, it means that your ring just has the brand name “Diamond”. But of course, it doesn’t matter if it’s not a diamond ring, because love is not measured by the size of the diamond... Then again, you might just receive a graphite ring.”
2. Change management talk
It was rather interesting to listen to this talk because I so agree that I’m not trying hard enough. I need to prioritize my time better and balance my studies and social life. One part of the presentation that struck me the most was the part where the teacher talked about changing habits.
HABITS
Taking away the “S” and “H”, you’re still left with “ABIT”.
Take away the “A” and you’re still left with “BIT”.
Take away the “B” and you’ll be left with “IT”.
It’s hard to get rid of a bad habit, but if you cultivate a good habit, hey, it stays with you for a damn long time.
3. Subway @ TJC
I bought my first double chocolate chip cookie from Subway in TJ today.
It was a sinful, lip-smacking experience, especially if you’ve been feeling down the entire day.
Yum.
4. Drama Rehearsal
I realized that I had the most complex character to play after a thorough discussion with my cast mates and teachers and that I need to put in A LOT of work to make my character tick.
It’ll be tough, but I will do it.
5. Its February 29
I had fun imagining in my mind scenarios where girls throw themselves shamelessly at guys and proposing to the guys with a ring.
Of course, I don’t that might happen anytime soon in Singapore because we’re not so open-minded, I guess.
Then again, you never know.
Finally, revelling in the fact that this day only comes once every 4 years and that I can only blog again on this day in another 4 years.
Live it, love it.
Hail Mary.
_____________________
Swing Swing Swing
JAE is a cruel process.
It makes me sick.
Some leapt for joy when they received their posting results; others get posted to a JC of their choice, only to regret later on. It’s written on their faces, though we all know they want to keep it locked away in their hearts.
I can’t admit that I’ve been happy.
I’ve been miserable, oh-so-miserable.
Why, you ask, am I so miserable? Let’s just say it’s an emotional turmoil inside of me. Churning and churning… my head hurts, my eyes sting, my breathing turns into gasps. I whisper feebly in my mind “Help!”
What should I do? What CAN I do?
I was a TJCian, then a Meridian, and finally, a TJCian again.
Did I make the right decision? The joy was there of course, when my appeal was successful. But then I started to question myself, was I blinded by camaraderie and fun? Did I make a hasty decision without considering my options beforehand… only, only time will tell.
These days… my mood has yo-yoed more often than I want it to. I’m happy, sad, glad and mad all at the same time. I’m such a troubled person, aren’t I?
Apart from all these, I enjoyed myself in Drama today. It’s great to put on a façade sometimes… it’s a form of escapism, to me. Rehearsals are tough; I never knew it was so difficult to act crazy. Though I’m sure most of you would agree that I already am crazy… so much for acting… hah.
Oh yes, my drama teacher commented that she liked the way we acted crazy. She said she saw people dancing around wildly (that’d be me) and mentioned openly that she thought that, I quote, “I saw Nicolas dancing as well, which I must say was quite… disturbing, lah.”
Um, I tried?
I think I haven’t been trying enough, this is so hard… I keep thinking and processing information in my head, thinking about troubling stuff. I don’t want my friends to be affected as well.
We need to be conscious of our bodies and our actions all the time. Not only ours, but others as well. We need to be aware, keep our eyes open so we can react appropriately… but it begs the question… What is appropriate?
I can’t possibly go, “Can you please fuck off?”
So much for being polite. I don’t know. I’m so confused right now.
I’m not a body with a soul; I’m a soul with a visible part called a body.
I…
am a walking corpse.
Hail Mary.
_____________________
Wow-eek
What a week, what a week.
So many things had happened during a short span of 5 days.
It just raced through the minds of me, my friends, everyone.
I tried my hardest, I tried my best because I didn’t want to look back and say:
”Fuck, why didn’t I try hard enough? If only I had done it…”
Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back.
Regret is an appalling waste of energy. You can't build on it. It's only good for wallowing in.
--- Katherine Mansfield
Rejection is the middle name of my life. It poses that much more of a problem to me. But I have to be a strategist and turn that to my advantage. I must.
Good luck y'all who are tied down by school issues, I wish you all the best.
Hail Mary.
_____________________
Knock Knock...
Once upon a time, there was a bird.
He was adorned with two perfect wings and with glossy, colourful, marvellous feathers. In short, he was a creature made to fly about freely in the sky, bringing joy to everyone who saw him.
One day, a woman saw this bird and fell in love with him. She watched his flight, her mouth wide in amazement, her heart pounding, her eyes shining with excitement. She invited the bird to fly with her, and the two travelled across the sky in perfect harmony. She admired and venerated and celebrated that bird.
But then she thought: He might want to visit far-off mountains! And she was afraid, afraid that she would never feel the same way for any other bird. And she felt envy, envy for the bird’s ability to fly.
And she felt alone.
And she thought: “I’m going to set a trap. The next time the bird appears, he will never leave again.”
The bird, who was also in love, returned the following day, fell into the trap and was put in a cage.
She looked at the bird every day. There he was, the object of her passion, and she showed him to her friends, who said: “Now you have everything you could possibly want.” However, a strange transformation started to take place: now that she had the bird and no longer needed to woo him, she began to lose interest. The bird, unable to fly and express the true meaning of his life, began to waste away and his feathers started to lose their gloss; he grew ugly; and the woman no longer paid him any attention, except by feeding him and cleaning out his cage.
One day, the bird died. The woman felt terribly sad and spent all her time thinking about him. But she did not remember the cage, she thought only of the day she had seen him for the first time, flying contentedly amongst the clouds.
If she had looked more deeply into herself, she would have realized that what had thrilled her about the bird was his freedom, the energy of his wings in motion, not his physical body.
Without the bird, her life too lost all meaning, and Death came knocking at her door.
“Why have you come?” she asked Death.
“So that you can fly once more with him in the sky,” Death replied.
“If you have allowed him to come and go, you would have loved and admired him even more; alas, you now need me in order to find him again.”
--- 11 minutes, Paulo Coelho
Hail Mary.
_____________________
Happy Val Day!
It's that time of the year again!
But this year is special because we're celebrating V-Day in a mixed school.
Yups, I think I can't really remember how it's like to celebrate V-day till now since VS didn't really have any formal celebrations. All boys wad! Haha.
Thanks to everyone who gave me presents!
Love ya lots! :D
Because when Cupid knocks on our door, the sweet and thoughtful guys of CG 20/08 answer the door... with balloons in hand!
We gave all the girls in our class heart-shaped balloons!
Yeah, 'cuz we're oh-so-romantic.
(Ignore Little Miss Boots in the back, ugh.)
Because we just love our shoes lots lots! (:
So to end of this short post, here's wishing everyone a happy and lovely V-day!
Oh yes, and cheers to all our friendships that will stay steadfast and strong forever and ever! =)
Hail Mary.
_____________________
Confidence = Proud?
School has been awful for me today.
I felt especially depressed today when I got back my chemistry surprise test, which I failed terribly. I failed my Econs assignment as well since it was also a surprise one. Oh dear, what is happening to me? This is not a good start to a new year and a new life. Definitely a big NO NO.
My classmate was telling me that it was okay to fail as its JC and it’s quite common to fail tests in school but to me, I simply can’t take such a setback. Like, when I see a good grade or a bad grade on my script, it can totally change my day.
So does it mean that I haven’t been able to grasp the concepts? Or I’m simply not well-prepared enough? Looks like I have to be on my toes all the time from now on, you never know when the teacher might spring a fast one on you.
But I’m sure I can do this, I know I can, call me an over-achiever or whatever, I don’t want to repeat my mistakes ever again. I can’t afford this. I will trudge on, a step at a time…
I liked the discussion during PW today. We talked about how a person should behave while doing presentations. And it brought this question to my mind, if a person exudes confidence, it he proud? Would you perceive him as a stuck-up idiot who has no regards for others or applaud him for his ability to put forth a cool front?
We criticize and make comments about others, but we never like it when we have to stand in front of a crowd and have hundreds of pairs on eyes on us, because that itself puts a judgemental slap across your face.
Sure we always say someone sucks and he should just die or something. I’m guilty of that too.
Are you?
I’m trying to change that habit a little by little, I hope it works out. Not just for me, for everyone as well.
Let’s stop wrinkling our noses at others but observe those wrinkles on our noses instead. Imagine that every single wrinkle represents a person whom you have thrown a scathing remark at… does it hurt?
If you could just stop and think for that split moment, it might change a whole lot of things.
Maybe in the future, you could save some bucks on the wrinkle-free cream, huh?
Hail Mary.
_____________________
Happy Ratatouille!
First up, happy CNY to everyone!
How has the first day of Chinese New Year been for everyone?
Mine was… mundane.
I don’t know, I can’t seem to be able to get into the mood. It’s like; when I visit my relative’s home… we exchange New Year greetings, receive that elusive red packet and then… idle around for the next 1235346362346141 hours.
So I have decided to bring some reading materials from today onwards so that my precious time will not be spent watching a movie or gambling away, which is hardly ever useful.
Not to mention I have a pile of homework to clear… but doing homework at a relative’s home isn’t very nice, is it?
Oh yes, what did you guys have on in school for CNY eve?
TJC held our annual Road Run and I had to run 5km. Ooh, maybe they wanted us to lose some weight before CNY so that we will not become overweight from all that snacking. I had decided not to run at first because I was limping away from a cramp.
No, not a cramp from down there… it’s my right calf.
It kinda “froze” in the night and I couldn’t walk properly for the whole of Wednesday. I still ran anyways because I didn’t want to sit around chatting.
Running is fun! : D
I’ve kinda developed a fancy to running, I think it really pushes me to a level whereby I test my physical strengths and limit. And then there’s the euphoria from completing the race. Yups.
Well, thankfully my leg’s better now.
I heard, ok no, I KNOW VS had more Campus Superstars this year performing in school. That’s cool! I just want a picture with Keely! Haha.
Oh well, TJC hosted Switchfoot so I’m not complaining too much. =P
(That reminds me, I need to upload pictures from that day.)
Kays, I have more visiting to do today!
Remember to drink lots of water to avoid getting a terrible sore throat!
Hail Mary.
_____________________
What's my nationality?
I had a blast yesterday at OGL (Orientation Group Leader) day camp.
It was fun making new friends, playing station games and having a race around Bedok.
We had to cheer too. ‘Cos that’s what OGLs do, we cheer to show how tough we are and to display our desire to win.
Yes, and we cheered almost every 5 seconds till I went hoarse.
I was giggling away because my facilitator asked me:
“Are you from Myanmar?
So she sort of wanted me to prove that I was Singaporean and asked me to speak Mandarin. Which I did of course, after which she said I was “not bad”.
Um, okay.
Then I decided to confuse more people by speaking in French and spouting words in Korean and then I got asked:”Seriously, are you Korean then?”
To sum it all up, OGL day camp was loads of fun and also very exhausting while learning mass dance over and over again.
I think I was going crazy when the song “The Sweet Escape” kept playing in my head even after mass dance sessions were over.
Oh yes, I think I’m know amongst the OGLs as “the sick one” now because I was coerced to tell jokes. Okay, I sorta volunteered but I warned them not to stone me because I only knew sick jokes.
Oh well, there goes my image.
Thanks to everyone who are still posting birthday wishes on my tagboard, appreciate it! (:
Hail Mary.