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Didn't I Tell You?
Every story has a time to be told, otherwise you'll be forever a prisoner inside you.
I used to think I had moved on from being this socially awkward and introverted kid, but somehow I feel that nothing has changed. I'm worried, I'm scared of the future after NS. It kinda feels more carefree while I'm in NS now, because there seems to be much less to worry about.
My future seems bleak.
Ever since I had that horrible meltdown in JC1, there's this niggling feeling inside that those dark times are looming ahead, ready to rise up once again and consume me, turning me into someone I don't recognize. Broken in spirit, left to nurse those painful wounds that I can't seem to identify.
NS is ending, the future is just beginning. I don't know what to feel anymore.
Hail Mary.
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Badass August
I realised I skipped the whole of July without blogging. Decided to blog again because I found out recently that some people actually still read this blog.
Hmm, let's rewind to July for awhile. Well, July was the last month I worked on a 2-shift system. Did IPPT again after half a year, and failed it miserably. Clocked a pathetic 13min 2s on my 2.4km because of a stomach cramp. I feel like such a loser. Well, the redeeming factor was that I improved on my other stations. Glad to say that I could actually score a gold in IPPT if I train my butt off for 2.4km. And shuttle run needs to be improved! Damn unlucky, having to run it so many times. 3 to be exact... got me all breathless after that. Think that was what screwed up my IPPT.
I would have to say July was the month of movies for me? Watched most of the summer blockbusters and rounded it off with Captain America on the final weekend of July. Watched it together with my shfit as it was the last time we would be together as a shift till maybe... November? We'll probably see each other again when our chiong sua course starts! Bridesmaids was still one of the best movies I watched recently!
So far August has begun as a mess. With the new 8SIR schedule implemented et al, just messes up everyone's plans. It's really, really tiring and taxing on one because you seem to be in camp almost EVERY OTHER DAY.
I used to be fine with being in NS with my 2-shift working system, but now I just can't wait to ORD because I feel like my life is out-of-whack, void of some proper order. Oh well, till then! 3.5 months to go! I've still got leave to clear so hopefully that helps.
Recently, I've got back to hitting the books (i.e. reading books) so I think it's really therapeutic. Also, I've been taking up biz finance for my eprep course and I've come to the conclusion that biz is just too dry for my taste! Well, its better to dip your toes in the water than to drown in it right?
Okay, till the next time when inspiration strikes!
Hail Mary.