Thanks for the presents! SWITCHFOOT WILL BE PLAYING IN TJC TOMORROW!
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SEVENTEEN
I actually forgot that it was my birthday today until I read the birthday wishes sent to my handphone via sms.
That’s fast, isn’t it?
I kept commenting in school today that I wanted to run away and hide because I was so embarrassed when groups of people came up to me and sang the birthday song to me!
In class, we had more “sing a happy birthday song to Nicolas” time!
Wow, I was the first person in class to receive a birthday gift and have a birthday celebrated with my uber-cool CG 20/08! 
CG 20/08 & Ms Tan, our Biology teacher!
You guys rock!
Thanks!
Seriously, I would like to shout-out to everyone who made this day special and memorable:
Wei Jie (thanks for passing me the present!)
Kia Hong
Rayson
Javier
Javin
JX
Desmond
Kevin
Ming Han
Zhao Peng
Paul Kwa
Zhan Yu
Linus
Cheryl
Elizabeth
May
OAC people
Drama people
Teachers!
… and everyone else who wished me a happy birthday!
Don’t feel bad for not getting me a present, I don’t mind at all.
Wishing me a happy birthday is more than enough! =)
I realised that many people in school shared the same birthday as me today, judging from the number of random and pompous happy birthday singing in the lecture halls, which were very attention grabbing. Maybe that was their motive?
And last of all,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANIAL!
He shares the same birthday as me too!
Happy saccharine-sweet 16!
P.S.
HOW COOL IS THAT?!
GREAT PHOTO OPPORTUNITY AND GREAT MUSIC GOING HANG IN HAND!
Guest bands, West Grand Boulevard and Caracal will be playing as well!
School’s gonna rock our world tomorrow!
Once again,
THANK YOU EVERYONE!
Love y’all! :D
Hail Mary.
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Invisibility
In Economics, I learnt about an invisible hand guiding firms and owners of land and capital to promote the public interest.
I was tasked to do a GP project based on the theme “Invisible Singapore”.
How I wish I was invisible.
Invisibility is subjective.
It’s all about choices, how much willpower we choose to exert to reveal what is under the skin of things.
After all, life is full of choices.
It feels terrible to know that you have to face many when you attend school. Everyone told me to cheer up on Friday when I went to school.
My friend teared up when she told me to join the club, alas; she too had not done well.
I placed my hand on her shoulder and said feebly,”It’s okay.”
A lump of suppressed emotions formed in my throat.
I was choking up.
I took a deep breath and told myself not to cry.
Hey, maybe I needed that crumb of comfort too.
I don’t know, whenever I told someone that I was okay, I felt that I was lying through my teeth.
I abandoned my group of friends sitting around me and sat alone at the parade square. I stared down at my bag, brushed my hair back countless times with my hands and sighed almost once too often.
I sat there and thought hard.
Contemplated, searched through my soul.
I can’t shake off the imprint of my O level result slip in my head.
The number “3” is now the most detested number in my life.
I’ve been thinking lately, what sort of impression do I leave on people?
What qualities do I have that allows me to interact with these people whom I christen my “friends”…
I know you guys have always been there.
Have I been there too?
I cried my heart out on Thursday already;
I don’t have anymore tears to squeeze out of my ducts… for now.
Maybe my body is saving them for JAE posting results.
Ahh...
My friends, many of you have asked if I was okay.
I’d probably say that I am.
But I shall muster my courage now and say,
”I’m not okay, I’m upset.”
I still am.
Hail Mary.
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Tissue is a sad man's best friend.
My heart ran a marathon today.
It walked, slowly.
It skipped, heartily.
It hopped, happily.
Bom, bom, bom…
Can you feel your heart beating in your chest?
Place your right hand over the left side of your chest.
Do you feel your heart resting snugly, beating with a casual, carefree pace?
Stay that way, dear heart.
I beg you to.
But my heart didn’t listen.
It chose to take a life of its own.
Something was creeping up behind it; it was cornered by the walls of fear, obscurity, The Great Unknown.
Trapped, claustrophobic.
It panicked.
It took its last hop.
As both its feet touched the ground, it imagined a gun being fired at the corner of its ear.
Bang.
The Race was on.
It pushed off the ground, hard.
It broke into a sprint.
It pumped with ferocity like never before.
Was the finishing line coming into view?
It seemed like an eternity.
An endless dash.
My heart crossed the finish line, albeit a harsh finish.
I held the slip of paper in my hand.
I was confused, lost…
My head ached.
My breath turned into spasmodic gulps.
“I can take it…” I told myself.
I didn’t break into a smile.
I held back the passion in singing the Victorian Anthem.
I refused to cheer.
What was happening to me?
Then it came.
The rage, the scepticism, the awkward feeling.
”How did you…?”
11.
”What did you…”
11.”
I got 7… wha…”
11.
I needed to get out of the dreaded, wretched hall.
I could not take the cheers, the hugs, the jumps of joy.
It made me sick.
It was constricting.
I needed to breathe; I needed some space to myself.
Consoling from others just made it worse.
When others put a hand around me or spoke to me, the floodgates just broke.
But I thank them for the concern.
Maybe it was the months of suppressed emotions bursting out, disappointment… or… was it... relief?
I was telling people that I brought extra packets of tissue for others, just in case.
Be it tears of joy… or sadness.
I ended up using all that tissue for myself.
Does a word starting with “L” pop into your mind right now?
Now this big question is swimming in my mind…
"How will I confront the trials of tomorrow?”
The uncertainty tugs and pulls at every bone in my body.
I still have to go to school tomorrow.
Lucky me.
I need…
Self-control.
I need...
my life back.
Hail Mary.
I think I'm going crazy these few days. I'm blogging in school right now because everyone is slacking. I'm tired. Just before my partner and I were about to leave for our night walk, this group of people dressed in identical constumes, carrying Chinese artefacts and chanting away in some dialect walked past us in a procession. Sianz.
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Drama or Outdoor Activities Club (OAC)?
Like seriously.
We're actually supposed to be doing our Biology project but most of us are already done with our drafts.
I'm so so tired.
OAC Orientation Camp was oodles of fun.
We spent Friday night at Changi beach where the weather was awesome.
The wind just kept blowing non-stop throughout the night. There were many cool night activities where we had to compete in our groups too. We also learnt many camp craft stuff such as tying different kinds of knots.
Day 2 was spent in Pulau Ubin.
We had orienteering and biking in the afternoon and it didn't rain at all!
Thanks goodness there was no rain to dampen our spirits and spoil our activities of course.
We had night walk around the island which was kinda freaky.
It was some scary shit.
But what I felt was scary was us students walking around in the middle of the night with only a candle in hand.
After night walk, we spent some time cheering really softly, haha and uh, star-gazing!
It was magical.
I definitely made many new friends during OAC O-camp!
Anyways, I'm super vexed now because I can't decide with CCA to join.
Drama or OAC???
If I join either one, I'd just feel sorry for the other.
Argh this sucks.
I have one more day to decide because tomorrow is CCA day and both CCAs start at the same time... Oh dear.
Not to mention that I have tons of homework and Mr. O levels is will be popping up on Thursday.
Wish me luck!
I'm tired... Zzz.
Hail Mary.
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Sianz.
I can’t seem to find peace within myself.
Even though it’s only the 2nd week of school, I feel like I’m struggling already.There’s been a lot of talk in school about the school values of Passion, Purpose and Drive which are all of relevance to everyone, of course.
I’m trying my best to apply that to my life now.
It’s a daunting and uphill task and everyday I try my best to give my all trying to complete my homework and reading up on lecture notes before hand. I keep blaming myself when I can’t seem to pen down the answers to the questions that are in front of me. I blame myself when I can’t read my notes because time does not permit.
I keep telling myself, don’t let the work snowball; don’t let the activities eat into me. I don’t need to have a high profile; I just want a student life that can be managed.
I’m feeling like a wastrel now…
I need to pull myself together already.
Rumours have been flying around that the O levels are next week. Ok, most probably it IS next week. But I sincerely wish that MOE will give us a heads up soon because I don’t think I can take it if they ask us to report to school and inform us like, a day before.
Seriously, I’ll just scream and die there and then.
I need the mental preparation to face those wretched alphabets on my certificate.
I’ll be away at camp for the weekend…
I’ve got a feeling it’s gonna be fun.
Hail Mary.
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Poly wants a cracker.
First of all, I would like to say Thank You to everyone who has tagged my blog for the past few days… it’s comforting to see you guys tag your concerns and all the well wishes. Appreciate it. I’m definitely not emo, I’m just being reflective, okay… there’s a difference.
Right, so let’s move on with this post of mine.
I’ve been mentioning a lot about awkwardness in my previous post because there’s been a hell lot of it in the past week. Let me cite an example; I was chatting with my friend over lunch just the other day when a familiar face appeared at the corner of my eye. This person was slowly walking in my direction with her friend and the thoughts ran through my head. Should I say hi? Should I smile? Should I wave?
I think my heart skipped a few beats in that moment.
And no, this has nothing to do with infatuation or anything; it was just a mutual greeting.
What would you do?
Well, in the end, I just smiled and waved at the person and she waved back. How did I feel after that? A little relief, a little elation and embarrassment rolled altogether. Other times though, I would take the initiative to wave and say hi to someone but I’d get ignored instead... *shrugs* Well, at least I tried.
Like you new school? Like your new friends? Do you absolutely *~lUrBbExX~* your swanky new school campus, thinking all the while that you’d be rid of all the bastards and ass-wipes that bug you all the time? Then BAM! You meet a certain son of a bitch that you thought you’d never meet again in your life. You see him whispering to his friends, his eyes trailing you while you throw your hands up in uproar, whispering to yourself, “What have I done to deserve this?”
You know he’s bitching about you, you can taste it in the air… but what can I do?
I turned and walked away.
These people… hah! They think they’re so “up there” because the school chose to accept them because of their talent. They think that they can go about throwing their weights, disregarding the fact that people actually work hard just to get to a school that they want. I think they believe that they’ll be in that school for the next 2 years of their lives because they are oh-so “needed”. They think they’re indispensable and act like everyone should drop to their knees and kowtow to them.
I’m sure all of you know that no one is indispensable; I think you guys are smarter than these people because you are reading this blog, thank goodness for some proper EQ around here.
As seen on one of my friend’s MSN nicknames…
”The sins of the past will catch up with you, you bitch.”
So I shall not fret because I believe that I can accomplish much more than I already have and not falter because of these people.
Now, my blog post just sounds desperate and convoluted...
Yesterday, I went over to Temasek Poly’s Open House with my friends because “I’m just very free.” But no, I didn’t go there to snigger and point, though that was my initial response to WJ’s invitation to go visit the school… shallow Nicolas again…
Anyways, it was a rather insightful and purposeful experience visiting a Poly; it just seemed so much more carefree. The booths were interesting and rewarding. I had a blood test done at one of the booths. The girl pricked my finger with a medical instrument and tested my blood type. She got it right on the first try! Congrats. I urged my friends to try out the test but none of them wanted to because of the needle… haha.
Well, Farez took up the blood test in the end and it was hilarious. The girl pricked his finger once and nothing came out. She was so apologetic… then she tried again on another finger and… nothing came out again. So they increased the pressure exertion of the needle and tried again on the first finger she pricked… Finally, blood spilled out from his finger and surprise surprise! The first prick that she did on him started bleeding too… He got his blood tested after ages, and the girl kept apologising to him after that. Weird, and funny at the same time.
So we came to the conclusion that Farez has really thick skin, or his blood was channelled to somewhere else… I’ll leave that to your imagination.
Spent the entire day walking around TP, watched a fashion show, saw many cool gadgets and project works and we ended the day watching a skit that was performed in the lecture room of the Business School.
I tell you, it was laugh-out-loud funniness till the end. This Malay guy was dressed up as a drag queen and he tickled our funny bones with his witty and dirty quotes. I can’t describe the whole thing to you because I was too busy laughing but yeah, it was very, very enjoyable.
We receive any nice samples and souvenirs too!
And if you have just been skimming through this rather crazy post, here is some comic relief:
Qn: Why was the Maths book so sad?
Ans: It had many problems.
Boy: Dad, I scored underwater grades for my exams!
Father: What do you mean, son?
Boy: For all my subjects, I scored below C level.
I think that chilled you up on this sweltering day…
Alright, I just received my new timetable for next week and it is busy busy busy.
Hope all of you are coping well! =)
Hail Mary.
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Lecture me please.
I had one lecture today and that was Biology lecture.
The Biology lecturer introduced the topics to us one by one and I must say that the topics look absolutely daunting. I was telling Safi who was beside me that I would “force” myself to love Biology no matter how tough it gets because I was the one who decided my subject combination. Not just for Bio of course, for every other subject.
The lesson on Cell Structure only began halfway into the lesson after the introduction and I was a little upset because I was really yearning to learn more. You know how it feels like when you begin lessons after a really long period of time and you just feel useless and rusty? That how I felt today. Hopefully everything works out better as the lectures come and go. Since I’m in a new environment, it’s time to change some of my old ways and start afresh.
I’m just praying that everything goes as I hope it would.
So for the whole morning before Biology lesson, I went to library to mug (wow!). Yes you heard me right, I was mugging away in the library. Did some questions on Partial Fractions and read up on Economics and Chemistry notes beforehand. When you’re in a school with many other hardworking people, you just have to up your game, like it or not.
JC1s, look around you… how many students who are retained come from VS? I think there’s quite a handful. No offence but, last minute mugging and relying on sheer dumb luck is never going to get you anywhere in JC.
True enough, when I went up to the upper floor of the school library, there were students everywhere studying or doing their own work. Many were rushing here and there, scrambling for answers with the fellow friends. Sure, it’s great motivation to study but it also forces you back to the real world.
Just imagine how many students are studying in JCs and how many places are available in the Universities in Singapore… and let’s not forget our foreign friends who are mostly very capable in their studies.
Time to hit the books, people, start studying right now.
Oh yes, I need to mention that I will stop going to Parkway unless it is absolutely necessary. It’s too painful. I had to make so many detours yesterday to avoid groups of people who I’m not exactly fond of (not referring to you, JX). Was I embarrassed? I don’t know. Am I being too sensitive? Maybe it’s just me but I just can’t interact with them because it hurts so badly and I start getting sad and all… I can’t be in that state of awkwardness…
I’ll try my best not to dao/avoid you guys but we’ll just have to see what kind of environment we’re in first before I decide to open my mouth and say “Hi!”
I shall go for some literary therapy now to ease this sore soul...
Hail Mary.
Thank you OGLs! Oooh, any of you VS people remember Ernest? Group photo! RAH!
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O-Night!
It has been 4 days of gruelling activities during Zenith 2008.
We had our Temasek Amazing Race on Thursday where we had to run around Tampines area to play games at different stations to earn points for our group. Each clan has a few OGs representing it and all our points would contribute to the final tally that would eventually determine who would be the winning clan for this year’s orientation. I’m in OG 7 (Yeah!) and my clan is called Panthera, which is represented by a lion.
Let me pick out some of the highlights. During the race, we had to play a game that required us to search for items in a specific area. There were 10 items all together and one of the items we had to find was a, err… Kotex pad. Eventually, we managed to find most of the items sans the pad and something else. Then we had to make up a story involving all the 10 items. The story was just sick and gross with a part going like “The mother took out the pad she was wearing and gave it to her child…”
Err, okay.
We had mass games on Friday where we had to compete with other OGs during the games to earn points for our clan. Luckily we didn’t have to play many wet games or play a game where we had to stick our faces in flour to retrieve something with only our mouths. In the evening, it was one of the highlights of orientation where we had Mass Dance @ Suntec Fountain of Wealth! Unfortunately, I forgot to bring my camera so I don’t have any pictures… oh well. It was definitely a great experience to dance around the fountain with the water being sprayed in many different patterns and with all the lights shining to create the magical ambience.
Tourists and people stared at us but we just didn’t care and continued to dance the night away. We also ran around the fountain many times and kept screaming and cheering away. Yay for us! It was a tiring but very enjoyable night! =)
Yesterday we had OG outing in the morning at East Coast Park where we played group games, Frisbee and some of us went to play bowling after that. It was weird to be going out with the OG after meeting them for just a few days but it was a new experience I guess. It was still fun though, a nice way to bond and get to know more people.
We headed back to school together and had a short clan briefing before we moved to the hall for the start of O-Night! The hall was done up beautifully with a small stage erected in the middle of the hall and decorated with leaves and nets to give it a safari feel. Oh yes, on the way in, there was a red carpet laid out for us all the way to the entrance of the hall, I think most of us felt like celebrities there and then.
O-Night was wonderful with the clan skits, beauty and talent contest and great emceeing by the 2 emcees in charge who hammed it up and provided laughter to all of us by portraying different characters throughout the night. Nice job! Occasionally, the emcees reached into a bowl that contained “DARE-dication” slips written by others and the people had to go up the stage to complete the dares.
Imagine my group’s surprise when we were dared to go on stage to build a human pyramid! Oh my, we were stumped and lost for words for a while but we eventually completed the task when I climbed to the top (since I was the lightest guy…) and waved my hands in triumph! That feat earned Panthera 1000 points! Woohoo!
The night ended with the announcing of the winning clan of this year’s orientation 2008 and I’m proud to say that Panthera has held on as the winning clan for the 2nd year running! The hall then exploded with our cheers and screams because we had won!!! Applause please!
There was also a performance by a Samba group from ITE Simei who rocked the night with their samba beats and songs. One guy from another clan also went on stage to beat-box! He beat-boxed JT’s Sexyback which was uber cool! We had fun forming human chains and running around, clapped, screamed, jumped and screamed even more till we went hoarse.
I know I kinda mentioned that the night had already ended but we continued on anyways by having mass dance! We danced to the tunes of “S Club”, “Retarded”, “Speedy” and the Indian song which I can’t remember the title to. We danced the night away till our feet ached but we didn’t care, of course.
After that, the OGLs handed our group pictures to us and we exchanged thanks. It was indeed a memorable experience and all of us were sad that Zenith 08 was over… Aww. Took group pictures and we had supper together after that.
"We are fire!
We are warriors!
We are fire warriors!
We will fight, we will kill, we will come to fight and kill!
Fight kill, fight kill, fight kill, fight kill, fight kill!"
One of the coolest ‘Thera cheers ever!
Say the last sentence really quickly and it sounds like…
Anyways some pictures!
You guys were wonderful! (:
Haha! Long time no see and it was fun having him in the same group as us!
I look very sweaty here... =S
We were dressed in yellow, orange or red as those were our clan's colours!
OG 7 (Amra) all the way!
Love you guys!
Jiayous for everything! ^^
Hail Mary.
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Zenith 2008 @ TJC
Orientation Day 1 was boring and sian at first but it was tons of fun during mass dance and icebreakers. Other than that, the day was nothing special. Met a few friends, said hi, and made new friends.
Zhao Peng commented that TJC was just a pillow for him. I totally agree with him on that. I don’t want just the pillow too; I want the entire bed please.
It feels great spending the day doing something meaningful, unlike holidays which seemed long and draggy. That’s how I’m feeling, for now, though I might eat my words when school officially starts.
I hope tomorrow will be filled with more fun and laughter, otherwise…
Hail Mary.
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A (mood) swinging 2008
I just did something drastic, okay not so drastic, just weird. I changed my home page on my internet explorer to TJC’s home page; it used to be VS webbie of course. Well, I’m sure most of you know that I’ve been posted there already so if you haven’t known yet, whoopee-do! You just found out where Nicolas was posted to, congrats.
So ever since posting results were released. I think every Sec 4 has been faced with the question, “Which JC are you posted to?” I say, “TJC’ and there are 2 reactions:
“Oh, ok.””TJC? I thought you’re going to VJC! I’m going VJ, leh.”
“I thought you did well, what.”
Thanks a lot! ((:
Not only do I have to have people stab me in the face and then rub it in. I also have to eat humble pie and say I didn’t do very well and what not. I’m starting to sound jealous but I’m not sure if I would use the word “jealous”.
I just read through the above few paragraphs, thinking that it sounded absolutely childish and unlike me. Then again, I typed it out yesterday when I was in a better mood. Mood swings again…
Let me continue then, I’ve been engaging in conversations with people about their JC postings, though I’d rather like to strike up a conversation about something else. I start lamenting at the fact that some people “don’t deserve” to be in that JC and hey, I could be the one there instead.
Who am I to decide that they’re not deserving?
Who am I to decide that I am deserving?
But the bottom line is, they got into that JC and I didn’t.
Simple? Or not.
Endless tirades and complaining that I “dislike” my current JC and that I’m totally not jumping here there and everywhere with joy is because I can’t change that fact. So as from now onwards, I will stop grumbling and ranting about my situation any longer. This is it.
31st December.
It was an unusual way to spend the last day of 2007. I spent it with my lovely friends, of course. We spent the night camping out at the open area near Marina Square at about 8pm just to see the fireworks display. To pass the time, we played card games and thoroughly enjoyed smacking the hands of each other whilst playing heart attack.
Wasn’t it enjoyable to hear the resounding smack when the magazine was put to your hands and wrists?
The place was thronged with people of all ages and races. We sat near this little opening where people kept walking in and out in long streams. When they start, they don’t stop. My head, back and behind was subjected to the tortures of heels, stilettos, boots, sneakers, slippers and whatnot as they cross behind or in front of me. For added effect, I kept shouting “OW!” to show those people that they should be more considerate. No one listened of course.
Did I mention that I was kneed in the head by an asshole who crossed behind and stupidly slipped? He didn’t even apologize and cursed loudly. Well, whatever you said out loud, it certainly did apply to your sorry ass.
Without an unofficial countdown timer, it certainly did take away that little bit of excitement when the fireworks exploded in the star-less night without warning. For approximately 15 minutes, fireworks exploded across the sky at Marina Bay with much aplomb and delight to us, the audience. We cheered, we screamed, we clapped. Heck, we even shouted our New Year wishes out loud to everyone who bothered to listen.
“6 points! 7 points! My dream JC!”
“More money, Happy New Year!”
The sight of the fireworks exploding is definitely something unforgettable. As the fireworks died away in the night sky leaving a trail of smoke, we made our way out of the packed area. It’s quite a sight to see Orchard Road packed to a max in the wee hours of the morning.
Yes, speaking about “wee”, some people in our group had to make their way to the restrooms urgently as they held their bladders throughout the fireworks display, much to our comments of “Hey, your first pee of the New Year!”
After relieving ourselves and all, we headed over to Plaza Singapura and reached there about 2am. Bought ourselves tickets for Aliens Vs Predator 2. The movie was gruesome, dirty and oh-so foul. But I guess we could only expect that much from a B-grade movie. Throw in some blood, violence, hot babes, boobs and vulgarities and you have a B-grade movie! Voila. AVP2 overall, was seriously okay to me, maybe I was just tired and all but you can’t really expect much from killing, killing and more killing.
Well, what a way to start off the New Year by watching a movie. Hmm. That was something new for me.
The movie ended around 4am and we headed over to the bus stop. We abandoned the idea in the end as the night bus would take forever to get us home. So we decided to spend our morning by walking. Yup, you heard me right, we walked the morning away.
We spent almost 3 hours walking all the way from Dhoby Ghaut to Paya Lebar. It was indeed a wistful experience and we trudged along the empty highways in the night sky, with the moon hanging quietly overhead. Meeting many “good friends” or our “foreign talents” who seemed to be sleeping at every bus stop we visited or even those who just slept on the ground and drain covers. It’s amazing how they can catch a nap at such places. Thank goodness all of us have comfy beds to return to, that is something we should all treasure.
We got spooked when we walked past somewhere which looked suspiciously like a graveyard and we had fun scaring others. We walked through Geylang where it didn’t look like it was sleeping just yet. It felt weird and awkward to be in a place so renowned for shoddy activities and prostitution. Well, we made it out alive didn’t we?
We chatted and reminisced about what had happened in the past year, there was laughter, silence and mixed emotions all around. As we walked and walked, it felt like we were walking through everything in the past and onto the future, with what lying ahead behind an absolute enigma.
When bus services finally resumed, we wanted to continue our journey but it seemed our tired bodies could take no more. JX parted at Paya Lebar while the rest of parted ways at Tampines Interchange. It had been a magical and wonderful experience to spend the first day with my friends and I hope we get to meet up often…
Spending the whole night out was surprisingly exciting and reaching home at 7 the next day was simply exhilarating despite all the weariness.
Today hasn’t been a good day, I feel lost, I feel empty and my parents started off their first day of 2008 by quarrelling, yay for us. They’re both giving each other the cold shoulder now even though today is supposed to be a special day for everyone. Hurray for a crazed family I live in. I will try not to let it dampen my spirits tomorrow.
Because I will move on with an open mind and take in as much as I can. Just watch.
Oh yes, Happy New Year to everyone, of course.
Hail Mary.