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Death & Company
Attended a funeral wake yesterday. It was my grandaunt's. My first wake I've attended in 5 years. Never liked them. Who does?
One thing's different for sure. I've grown up. I've matured. I've learnt to face death strongly. I didn't shed a tear this time.
I didn't want to go for this wake initially, but something tugged at my heart. My grandaunt, I hardly knew her, we were from different branches of the family tree. This year, when we visited her house during Chinese New Year, she took my hand and held it tight. I was taken aback by the gesture initially. It felt weird. But there she was, holding my hand in hers and stroking my hand gently while speaking fondly of me, as though we had known each other for a long time --- a grandchild in her eyes perhaps. And in less than a month, she was gone. Heart failure. But she knew, she knew that she couldn't last through the week.
Does one know when his/her time is up?
A life lived fully, fulfilled. Last night at the wake, there were tears, but there was laughter as well. As people spoke fondly of her, old photographs were passed around and I had a glimpse of her past and my family's past. It was beautiful in its nostalgic glory. Maybe that's what she wanted, and many others too, that in one's death, one helps to bring the family closer.
She's passed on. Today she will be sent off. Rest in peace, grandaunt. I will miss you, your beautiful smile, your chuckle and your hospitality during Chinese New Year. Though I only see you once a year, you have touched me and I'm sure many others in the years you have lived on this planet.
Rest in peace.
Hail Mary.