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Hell Hole
I like to exercise. I really do. There's some kind of liberating feel to it whenever you have a nice long run, or you're working those muscles of yours while stretching them... in my case, training for pull ups again. :(
Well, not only does exercising help in building my physique, I think another perk of exercising is simply, the time to contemplate. After my run yesterday, I just sat under one of the void decks at my house and thought about stuff. The sky was a dark blue with the sun setting, the leaves of the trees in front of me, waving in the wind...
Then I thought, how am I going to live this one month of mine before NS to the fullest? It seems so empty, yet so full of things I want to do. And as usual, I looked back on what I've done the past year, on whether I've made the right decisions, or even how I could change whatever I have done.
That said, I guess nothing much can be done to undo what I've done... perhaps I need to think of how I am going to live my life in the future. Anyway, to let all of you in on something... I wish I was in NS now. Somehow I think I would be happier in there. I suppose home to everyone is like a refuge, but to me, home is a hell hole. Seriously, there's the endless screaming and shouting and whatnot. All that bullshit is driving me nuts. And I hate being dragged into my parents' disputes. Like wtf.
That's why I'm not planning to get married. Think about it. Nowadays divorce rates are on the hike. Have you ever thought why? To me it's simply the average life span of a person becoming longer. Can you imagine getting married to a person for like, 50 years? Call me cynical or whatever, but don't you think most marriages end when these couples are in their old age? Have you heard of the 7-year cycle of marriage? Yes, meaning every 7 years or multiple thereof, a couple will get divorced. SO WHY PUT YOURSELF THROUGH THAT PAIN?
Not only are you dragging your spouse down, you are also screwing up the lives of your children. Wanna get married? Settle your damn disputes first before deciding to tie the knot. OR get married and don't have children or they will end up just as f-ked up as you are.
I've seen how my own family and relatives are unhappy about their married lives. Even the old generation is having issues. I think, my family is just cursed to have rocky marriages, no?
So much for Holy Family week last week!
I think the reason why the Holy Family is called the Holy Family is simply because NO ONE'S family can be like that.
Hail Mary.