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Invisibility
In Economics, I learnt about an invisible hand guiding firms and owners of land and capital to promote the public interest.
I was tasked to do a GP project based on the theme “Invisible Singapore”.
How I wish I was invisible.
Invisibility is subjective.
It’s all about choices, how much willpower we choose to exert to reveal what is under the skin of things.
After all, life is full of choices.
It feels terrible to know that you have to face many when you attend school. Everyone told me to cheer up on Friday when I went to school.
My friend teared up when she told me to join the club, alas; she too had not done well.
I placed my hand on her shoulder and said feebly,”It’s okay.”
A lump of suppressed emotions formed in my throat.
I was choking up.
I took a deep breath and told myself not to cry.
Hey, maybe I needed that crumb of comfort too.
I don’t know, whenever I told someone that I was okay, I felt that I was lying through my teeth.
I abandoned my group of friends sitting around me and sat alone at the parade square. I stared down at my bag, brushed my hair back countless times with my hands and sighed almost once too often.
I sat there and thought hard.
Contemplated, searched through my soul.
I can’t shake off the imprint of my O level result slip in my head.
The number “3” is now the most detested number in my life.
I’ve been thinking lately, what sort of impression do I leave on people?
What qualities do I have that allows me to interact with these people whom I christen my “friends”…
I know you guys have always been there.
Have I been there too?
I cried my heart out on Thursday already;
I don’t have anymore tears to squeeze out of my ducts… for now.
Maybe my body is saving them for JAE posting results.
Ahh...
My friends, many of you have asked if I was okay.
I’d probably say that I am.
But I shall muster my courage now and say,
”I’m not okay, I’m upset.”
I still am.
Hail Mary.