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Douze/It pains me...
I think for the past few weeks, the word on many of the Sec 4s’ lips was “Moderate”, now that it had translated into reality for certain subjects, some are just bouncing off the walls with joy.
Sadly, I’m not one of them.
It pains me to see my results in a mess.
It pains me to look over my exam scripts over and over again, searching desperately for that one mark to push me up a grade.
It pains me to argue or even beg with the teacher for a sound reasoning to my answers so that it will be accepted.
It pains me to be rejected over and over again.
It pains me to see others asking me for my results and I feel dejected just mouthing a reply for them.
It pains me when teachers ask me for my results and I get replies such as “What happened?” or “Wah, so bad!”
It pains me to see others doing so much better, and I too, did better, but not enough for me.
It pains me when people boast to me about their “pure” results and go “Yay!” and grin widely because they did better than me.
Does it please you that I falter?
Do results tear everyone apart?
Does it unleash your inner bitch?
I’m sorry that I did better than you in a certain subject; you don’t have to exclaim “Wah lao!” so loudly for the whole world to hear. You don’t have to slap me on my back time after time again to express your unhappiness/jealousy.
Would that appease your the displeasure in your heart?
Besides I never boasted about it. What good will come out of it?
When you do better than me or anyone overall, does that mean you can turn into a snob?
That can never be compared to someone who has a good heart even if his academia isn’t very good.
No matter how much I go one about this, I think it’s endless. A few more mock exams to go and I will prove myself. I won’t let myself down and I won’t let you be an obstacle.
Graduation Day 2007 is in a few days and I hope I will graduate happy and bright.
The “O’ levels are in 2 weeks.
And I quote from a friend of mine;
Can someone say,
”Die?”
Hail Mary.