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The Aftermath
Exams are but an obstacle where one has to overcome. Exams make you pick up your pen and write your name on those menacing scripts. Then you think, writing my name is such a chore. Why waste precious seconds writing your name repeatedly on all the pieces of paper. Then you realise, you’re digressing. Sigh.
Exam questions are much like traps, they snap at you where you least expect, and some you do not manage to escape unscathed. You stare at your questions and you’re left with 2 options, you think, think and think.
Exams keep you on your toes. You glance at the timer, you’re behind time. You choose an answer and move on, but wait, you can’t get the last question out of your mind, you go back and stare at it, all the while chanting in your mind, “Is there another possibility, is there? This seems ok, this too.” You erase your shaded answer, shade another, then erase it again. Sigh.
Exams confine you in a freezing school hall. The scenario repeats itself over and over again as you proceed. Your heart races. It’s freezing, but you feel warm all over. You adjust your sweater; you roll up your sleeves, it droops after a while. It offers little comfort through warmth. Sigh.
Exams make you panic. Your throat feels dry. You roll your parched tongue over your lips. That bottle of water sits quietly in front of you. You glare at it and you yearn for gratification, you want its contents swimming down your throat. But you hesitate; you can’t waste time going to the restroom for a piss. You grit your teeth and proceed with your paper. Sigh.
Exams are like marathons, except you need to stick to its time limit and its tough to say, "I bettered my best." It may seem oh-so-short, but in fact it’s an eternity. The seconds climb, higher and higher and higher. You pause to think and realise you can’t afford such respite. You scream in your mind “SCREW YOU.” And you move on to the next question.
Tick-tick-tick,
Tock.
You finish your final question. No time to catch a breath, you whisper. 2 minutes, 2 freaking minutes. You stare at the previous questions with enigmas hovering over them, digest them and write down the answer that comes to your mind. No, it’s wrong. You cancel your answer, as you struggle desperately to pen down those few words; time has caught up with you.
You lost. You failed. Destitute feeds on your spent body, it engulfs you. You sink lower in your chair… Sigh.
The paper is over. You proceed downstairs and reciprocate your doubts to others. Amidst the crowd you see a few cliques in rabid discussion over their answers. The corresponding replies amongst your friends fires up your confidence.
“YES, I’m right!”
“Yeah, man I got that too!”
They rejoice, albeit exasperated.
You think to yourself, it is worth those few moments of elation to know you did something right? Is it necessary? After all, it might still be wrong.
You pass by the cliques with a heavy heart, they demoralise you with their chatter. You wanna shut them out.
“I want to throw myself on the road and just die. Shut up, I know I’m silly. I make stupid mistakes, stop rubbing it in.”
Did I do right? Do I deserve such a predicament?
The aftermath.
You want to comfort yourself with tears but you can’t bring yourself to.
“I’ll save it for the last.”
The after-feeling. It sucks, it really does.
And guess what?
So does Life.
Sigh.
Hail Mary.